What do you call this?

I felt lonely and isolated today. I woke up feeling good about having an office day. I’d been out for a few days and was looking forward to being somewhere I feel comfortable and chatting with people I feel relaxed around.

It didn’t turn out that way. I got frustrated with not being able to chat because I don’t speak the language, not being able to laugh because I don’t understand the joke and having to go and spend 3x as much as my colleagues if I want to get some lunch because I’m white.

I didn’t manage to make the opportunities to have the work conversations I wanted to have and I ended up opting for an early lift home.

Overthinking everything comes next. What could I have done differently? Why do I let this get to me? It’s my own fault. I don’t make enough effort. Why haven’t I got any beer in the house!?  

Move on! Forget it!

So I start to read a book.

‘Why I’m no longer talking to white people about race’ by Reni Eddo-Lodge

It begins with a blog post that was written in 2014 by the same author and title, which apparently caused a storm at the time. Being in PNG at the time I missed it altogether.

It has completely changed my day.

The blog itself is so powerful it blew my day away. I’m now still only 20% into the book (yes kindle!) but I already have to say read it!

It reminds me why I do what I do, why I am who I am, why it’s so important to be able to read and answers why you really can’t get down about a crap day!

Well that’s what I wanted to say today

Love to everyone xx