Humanity

It’s been quite a week, a good friend from another life died, she was found in her house having been dead for two days, I met a truly inspirational person from a refugee camp who has brought a new meaning to the term resilience, two friends both of whom I deeply respect fell out with each, one of whom is going through an impossibly difficult time in his life, upsetting and energy draining but they worked it out, heart warming, another good friend has been and always is a rock to me, he grounds me and makes sense although I know he will not know the difference he makes, today, a fellow volunteer who, again I believe without knowing, gave me a hug and changed my day.

Life is an incredible thing, so much to learn, it’s so big, so much happening, no boundaries, open to all of it. People touch you in so many ways, all the time, so many interactions, so many influences, so much positivity, so much to learn and not enough words.

That’s what I want to say tonight

Love to everyone

What do you call this?

I felt lonely and isolated today. I woke up feeling good about having an office day. I’d been out for a few days and was looking forward to being somewhere I feel comfortable and chatting with people I feel relaxed around.

It didn’t turn out that way. I got frustrated with not being able to chat because I don’t speak the language, not being able to laugh because I don’t understand the joke and having to go and spend 3x as much as my colleagues if I want to get some lunch because I’m white.

I didn’t manage to make the opportunities to have the work conversations I wanted to have and I ended up opting for an early lift home.

Overthinking everything comes next. What could I have done differently? Why do I let this get to me? It’s my own fault. I don’t make enough effort. Why haven’t I got any beer in the house!?  

Move on! Forget it!

So I start to read a book.

‘Why I’m no longer talking to white people about race’ by Reni Eddo-Lodge

It begins with a blog post that was written in 2014 by the same author and title, which apparently caused a storm at the time. Being in PNG at the time I missed it altogether.

It has completely changed my day.

The blog itself is so powerful it blew my day away. I’m now still only 20% into the book (yes kindle!) but I already have to say read it!

It reminds me why I do what I do, why I am who I am, why it’s so important to be able to read and answers why you really can’t get down about a crap day!

Well that’s what I wanted to say today

Love to everyone xx